Sour grapes make bitter whine.

~~~

After losing to the Nationals 10-4 at The New York Shea Stadium and Garbage Dump, Nelson Figueroa accused the Nats of "cheering like softball girls."

"I'm a professional just like anybody else. I take huge offense to that. If that's what a last-place team needs to do to fire themselves up, so be it. They could show a little more class, a little more professionalism now that they won tonight, but in the long run, they're still who they are."

Really. So who are they, Nelson? The team that banged you for six runs and beat the Mets 10-4 last night? Is that what you mean, you rubber-armed pile of laundry? Are they the team whose pitcher, Odalis Perez, got two singles and a sac bunt off of you, you trouser dollop?

After you walked that fantastic bastard Rob Mackowiak over to third, maybe you should have thrown a strike to your catcher to take out that madman running home. Instead, you threw wild, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!? Then you looked over to the Nats' dugout and saw them. Those mean boys! Laughing and ass slappin' at your pain. But you didn't throw your glove on the ground and run home and bury your face in your fuzzy pink pillow and cry and cry and cry and cry. Good for you, Nelson! Good job being a professional. Save up that tantrum for the post game interview.

Hey professional, how about maybe throw some strikes? Hey Nelson, maybe they cheered like softball girls because that's how you pitched them, you over-inflated minor league dreg. You sorry excuse for a scab replacement pitcher. You limp-wristed mound hump. Enjoy the bus ride back to Los Dorados de Chihuahua de la League de Mexico, puta.

Good win, ladies. Mojitos all around.
(AP Photo/Ed Betz)

New York Mets' Jose Reyes, left, Ruben Gotay, center, and Carlos Gomez
(professionals, like anybody else) taunt San Francisco Giants pitcher
Russ Ortiz after the third ball pitched to David Wright who was up to bat
with the bases loaded during the 10th inning in Major League Baseball
action Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at Shea Stadium in New York. In true Mets
implosive fashion, Wright flied out to center field to end the inning.
AP Photo by Julie Jacobson

~~~