In honor of Ryan Langerhans' 8th inning grand slam against the Cardinals, I made this Eyelets of Langerhans tribute. The hypoglycemics reading this are just laughing and laughing.
Friday, May 25, 2007 Washington - 5 St. Louis - 4 20 - 29
Rauch pitched to 3 batters in the 8th. Pitches-strikes: Bowie 83-54, Abreu 15-9, Rivera 10-7, King 1-1, Rauch 16-9, Colome 6-5, Cordero 14-9, Reyes 86-54, Jimenez 12-7, Flores 23-15, Springer 7-4. Ground outs-fly outs: Bowie 6-7, Abreu 0-3, Rivera 1-1, King 0-1, Rauch 0-0, Colome 2-0, Cordero 1-2, Reyes 8-5, Jimenez 2-2, Flores 2-0, Springer 0-0. Batters faced: Bowie 20, Abreu 4, Rivera 4, King 1, Rauch 3, Colome 2, Cordero 3, Reyes 28, Jimenez 4, Flores 6, Springer 1. Inherited runners-scored: King 1-0, Colome 2-0, Jimenez 3-0, Springer 1-0. Umpires: HP: Tony Randazzo. 1B: Charlie Reliford. 2B: Tom Hallion. 3B: Greg Gibson. Weather: 72 degrees, cloudy. Wind: 7 mph, R to L. T: 2:48. Att: 43,618.
Saturday, May 26, 2007 Washington - 6 St. Louis - 8 20-30
Pitches-strikes: Speigner 75-44, Traber 29-14, Abreu 25-20, King 9-5, Thompson 96-59, Wellemeyer 14-11, Johnson 9-4, Franklin 4-3, Jimenez 18-11, Isringhausen 12-7.
Ground outs-fly outs: Speigner 6-3, Traber 4-1, Abreu 1-1, King 2-1, Thompson 12-3, Wellemeyer 3-1, Johnson 1-0, Franklin 1-1, Jimenez 1-0, Isringhausen 0-1.
Batters faced: Speigner 22, Traber 8, Abreu 6, King 3, Thompson 27, Wellemeyer 5, Johnson 3, Franklin 2, Jimenez 4, Isringhausen 2.
Inherited runners-scored: Traber 3-3, Wellemeyer 3-1, Franklin 2-1, Isringhausen 1-1.
Umpires: HP: Charlie Reliford. 1B: Tom Hallion. 2B: Greg Gibson. 3B: Tony Randazzo.
Weather: 81 degrees, clear.
Wind: 8 mph, Out to LF.
T: 3:01 (1:41 delay).
Sunday, May 27, 2007 Washington - 7 St. Louis - 2 21-30
Pitches-strikes: Chico 68-42, Rivera 28-19, King 8-7, Colome 15-9, Cordero 16-10, Wainwright 81-62, Springer 9-4, Flores 28-14, Cate 14-10.
Ground outs-fly outs: Chico 2-10, Rivera 0-4, King 3-0, Colome 2-0, Cordero 2-1, Wainwright 7-8, Springer 0-0, Flores 1-0, Cate 0-3.
Batters faced: Chico 16, Rivera 8, King 4, Colome 5, Cordero 3, Wainwright 28, Springer 2, Flores 5, Cate 5.
Inherited runners-scored: Flores 2-2.
Umpires: HP: Tom Hallion. 1B: Greg Gibson. 2B: Tony Randazzo. 3B: Charlie Reliford.
Weather: 76 degrees, cloudy.
Wind: 2 mph, Out to RF.
T: 2:48 (1:01 delay).
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
My first car was a 1975 Plymouth Valiant. It was my dad's commuter car, then it was shared by my three brothers and me. From the age of 13, I used to sit behind the wheel of that car and plot out how I was going to steal it. It was a sedan, but I was planning a coup. The '75 Valiant didn't look like much. Even though ours was the higher-priced Valiant Brougham Thank-You-Very_Much, it still looked like a car your mom might pick out for you. But the Valiant had a nasty little secret life. It was lightweight, had power steering, and a Mopar V8 318 under its prim hood.
I would routinely do 80 mph driving up the steep and twisted incline of Fisher's Hill, just because I liked to surprise other drivers.
This car thought it was that car.
I know what you're thinking; Here comes the comparison of my old sleeper hot rod to the 2007 Washington Nationals. After all, they've beaten all expectations and have won 10 of the last 14 games. They went 3 of 4 against the Reds, officially pulling themselves up & out and knocking the Reds down & in to the basement of the National League. Nobody thought that they could.
Obviously, a parable is coming.
The thing is, it's Friday and a three day weekend is looming lazily but overwhelmingly in the cloudless sky. If you asked Jesus, he'd tell you that parables are effective, but, (sighhhhhhh), I dunno ... they're a hassle.
I'm sure you're weekend is probably already getting crowded, but let's just take a moment and raise a glass, because life is good. Here's to Mopar, Jesus, the month of May, sexual encounters on burgundy crushed velour seats, the game of baseball, and long weekends. Mostly though, here's to the tens of thousands of 18 year old maniacs who should have been committing misdemeanors and scraping together gas money but instead were experiencing the worst the human race has to offer just before they drew their last breath. Saying "thank you" is the wrong way to express how we feel about these men and women. Like describing the Milky Way galaxy as "pretty big", it's almost inappropriately demeaning - negating all the things that are not here because they are not here. I'll say it just the same.
May, 24, 2007
Washington - 4
Cincinatti - 3
19 - 29
IBB: Logan (by Belisle).
HBP: Batista (by Majewski).
Pitches-strikes: Bacsik 100-64, Traber 4-3, Cordero 13-7, Belisle 116-79, Salmon 12-7, Coutlangus 9-6, Majewski 13-7.
Ground outs-fly outs: Bacsik 7-12, Traber 1-0, Cordero 2-1, Belisle 11-7, Salmon 1-2, Coutlangus 1-0, Majewski 1-1.
Batters faced: Bacsik 29, Traber 1, Cordero 3, Belisle 30, Salmon 3, Coutlangus 2, Majewski 3.
Inherited runners-scored: Majewski 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Tim Welke. 1B: Jim Reynolds. 2B: Gary Cederstrom. 3B: Lance Barksdale.
Weather: 83 degrees, partly cloudy.
Wind: 15 mph, R to L.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
There are little games we like to play in the stands when not much is happening on the field. There's mound ball, armrest elbow wrestling, and drop the peanut (upper deck, front row game). One of our favorite games-while-watching-the-game is called Find the Spy. RFK stadium is one scant mile from the Capitol, the Department of JUSTICE!, the Russell Senate Office Building, and Nightclub 9:30*.
Somewhere in the crowd of any home game, there is mos def a spy who is making a dead drop. Maybe an Aramark guy is passing an Italian sausage stuffed with a thumb drive full of state secrets to a crooked war contractor. At the very least, some congressman's aid is in the crowd, casually setting down a Bud bottle stuffed with hundred dollar bills. It gets picked up by a guy in the next seat who can erase names from Deborah Jeane Palfrey's little black book.
"How will I know you?" the aid nervously asks over a borrowed cell phone.
"I'll be the guy in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays game jersey" replies the extortionist.
"What if there's more than one guy in a D-Rays jersey?"
"You worry too much."
You want to keep an eye out for these kinda people
We always give an extra look to the "fans" who show up wearing a suit, tie, and brand new bright red baseball cap. That's the fella who's going to sink the ships.
"I'm the reliever"
Baseball is a game filled with intrigue. While the catcher is flashing signs to the pitcher, the third base coach is going through what appears to be a bout of delirium tremors. They are actually secret messages to the guy on first base.** He's silently telling the runner, "these are fake signals I'm using. The real signals are being given by the photographer in the camera well beside the dugout. Oh yes ... he's with us." To think that the same amount of mystery and obfuscation were not happening in the rest of the ballpark, well that's just retardulous.
Find the Spy is very good for one's outlook. Assuming that at least a few of these people are highly skilled espionage agents pushes back the overwhelming urge to harshly judge the whole lot in the stands as a pack of low functioning drones. It forces us to be more discerning with our smug superiority. If you roll your eyes at the wrong person, you might be swiftly and silently killed with a Chad Cordero bobblehead.
It's all part of a vast, right field conspiracy.
*There aren't spies at Nightclub 9:30. We just mentioned it because that place ROCKZ!.
** Unless it's the hitting coach or the GM - then, yeah, it's DT's.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Washington - 12 (!)
Cincinatti - 7
18-29 (This game puts the Nats and the Reds in a TIE for WORST IN THE NL!)
IBB: Ross (by Simontacchi).
HBP: Zimmerman (by Burton).
Pitches-strikes: Simontacchi 91-59, Rivera 29-15, King 6-2, Abreu 5-3, Rauch 35-23, Colome 15-10, Lohse 92-57, Coffey 38-23, Burton 20-12, Stanton 20-14.
Ground outs-fly outs: Simontacchi 6-6, Rivera 1-2, King 0-0, Abreu 0-1, Rauch 1-2, Colome 1-1, Lohse 6-5, Coffey 4-2, Burton 1-0, Stanton 2-1.
Batters faced: Simontacchi 23, Rivera 8, King 1, Abreu 2, Rauch 7, Colome 4, Lohse 24, Coffey 10, Burton 5, Stanton 6.
Inherited runners-scored: Rivera 2-0, King 3-1, Abreu 3-2, Coffey 2-0, Stanton 3-3.
EjectionsWashington Nationals pitcher Ray King ejected by HP umpire Lance Barksdale. (7th).
Umpires: HP: Lance Barksdale. 1B: Tim Welke. 2B: Jim Reynolds. 3B: Gary Cederstrom.
Weather: 84 degrees, partly cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, In from RF.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Washington - 8
Cincinatti - 4
Pitches-strikes: Chico 95-60, King 5-3, Colome 30-17, Cordero 24-15, Saarloos 78-48, Stanton 17-12, Coffey 5-4, Coutlangus 22-12, Salmon 8-5, Burton 11-9.
Ground outs-fly outs: Chico 8-6, King 0-0, Colome 2-3, Cordero 0-1, Saarloos 10-4, Stanton 0-2, Coffey 1-1, Coutlangus 1-0, Salmon 1-1, Burton 2-0.
Batters faced: Chico 23, King 1, Colome 7, Cordero 5, Saarloos 24, Stanton 5, Coffey 3, Coutlangus 5, Salmon 2, Burton 3.
Inherited runners-scored: King 2-0, Stanton 1-0, Coffey 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Gary Cederstrom. 1B: Lance Barksdale. 2B: Tim Welke. 3B: Jim Reynolds.
Weather: 84 degrees, clear.
Wind: 10 mph, In from RF.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Washington - 7
Cincinatti - 8
16 - 29
Lead pissed away in the 8th inning
IBB: Ross (by Speigner), Langerhans (by Arroyo).
Pitches-strikes: Speigner 66-37, Abreu 31-20, Rivera 15-10, Rauch 29-22, Arroyo 62-32, Santos 57-37, Coffey 12-8, Coutlangus 17-11, Weathers 15-8.
Ground outs-fly outs: Speigner 2-6, Abreu 5-2, Rivera 2-1, Rauch 1-0, Arroyo 2-2, Santos 4-2, Coffey 2-0, Coutlangus 0-2, Weathers 0-2.
Batters faced: Speigner 18, Abreu 9, Rivera 4, Rauch 6, Arroyo 15, Santos 14, Coffey 3, Coutlangus 4, Weathers 4.
Inherited runners-scored: Coutlangus 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Jim Reynolds. 1B: Gary Cederstrom. 2B: Lance Barksdale. 3B: Tim Welke.
Weather: 82 degrees, partly cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, R to L.
Monday, May 21, 2007
It is Sunday morning. The good people of America are dressed-up and on their way to sacred ground to sit in uncomfortable chairs beside their loved-ones for hours on-end. Ro and I are right there with them.
On our way out of town, we swooped and scooped the unsuspecting Quin, threw her in the backseat, and stabbed the gas. Beside the rabidly enthusiastic Ro, Quin seemed more than a shade tentative. While navigating through tourist traffic and DC motorcades, I energetically explained the theories and underpinnings of Operation Retardulous. While Quin was nodding and smiling, she kept trying to get the backseat door open. Thank you, Ford, for the childproof safety locks. Even though the customs of baseball were new to her, she seemed to catch-on quickly.
The Nats must have known we were trying hard to impress a new convert. They pulled out all the crowd pleasers, including the kid's area outside the ballpark.
This is a bouncy room - not children's prison
Nook Logan demonstrated the art of stealing second base. Then third base. Oh, then he singled-in the winning run.
We made the climb to the tippy top of RFK Stadium.
And we introduced her to new friends.
I don't know if Quin will become a lifelong baseball fan after today. If she doesn't, nobody can blame the Natties.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Washington - 4
Baltimore - 3
16 and 28
IBB: Tejada (by Traber).
HBP: Church (by Bedard), Kearns (by Baez).
Pitches-strikes: Bedard 98-66, Bradford 8-5, Baez 18-12, Walker 4-3, Bowie 69-45, Traber 41-29, King 15-8, Colome 14-10, Cordero 13-8.
Ground outs-fly outs: Bedard 2-7, Bradford 1-0, Baez 1-0, Walker 0-0, Bowie 5-4, Traber 2-3, King 1-2, Colome 0-1, Cordero 3-0.
Batters faced: Bedard 28, Bradford 2, Baez 5, Walker 1, Bowie 14, Traber 14, King 4, Colome 4, Cordero 4.
Inherited runners-scored: Baez 1-1, Walker 2-0, Traber 2-1.
Umpires: HP: Larry Young. 1B: Mike Estabrook. 2B: Ted Barrett. 3B: Mark Carlson.
Weather: 76 degrees, cloudy.
Wind: 9 mph, Out to CF.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
If you took the Queen of England to a chili cook-off, you'd probably have a really good time, but you'd feel a little uneasy when the farting started. Taking Dave to a baseball game is a bit like that. In spite of the fact that the stinkin' O's won, it was a great game. The night was perfect, with a light breeze and the magic of baseball in front of us. Then it happened; A late-inning pitching change meant that Sweet Caroline must be played over the PA. Dave's confusion prevented him from poker-facing his fear-driven anger. WHERE IT BEGAN (wtf?!?) I CAN'T BEGIN TO KNOWIN' (where's that crappy song coming from?!?)
I guess I could have explained that the title track to Neil Diamond's 1973 album began as a Fenway thing, then it jumped to Shea and now it's all over the place. Maybe a quick historical overview would have gotten Dave on his feet, or at least in acceptance of the surreal event that was unfolding. I could have done that, but I went with swaying and overzealous pantomimes along with all the other whiteys.
BOMP BOMP BOMP!!!!!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Washington - 4
Baltimore - 5
15 - 27
HBP: Church (by Trachsel).
Pitches-strikes: Trachsel 98-51, Parrish 18-14, Baez 20-11, Ray 23-10, Simontacchi 94-60, King 8-5, Abreu 11-6, Rivera 12-5, Traber 10-5, Colome 10-4.
Ground outs-fly outs: Trachsel 7-7, Parrish 1-1, Baez 2-0, Ray 2-1, Simontacchi 2-10, King 1-0, Abreu 0-1, Rivera 1-0, Traber 0-2, Colome 2-1.
Batters faced: Trachsel 24, Parrish 4, Baez 6, Ray 5, Simontacchi 27, King 2, Abreu 2, Rivera 3, Traber 4, Colome 3.
Inherited runners-scored: Abreu 1-0, Traber 2-2.
Umpires: HP: Ted Barrett. 1B: Kevin Causey. 2B: Larry Young. 3B: Mike Estabrook.
Weather: 61 degrees, overcast.
Wind: 7 mph, Out to LF.
Friday, May 18, 2007
We're being told that Baltimore is Washington's Natural Enemy; that this weekend's series is a Big Rivalry. Why? Sure, these next three games will affect the win/loss column. Yes, some people still hold a grudge against the O's for their regular pummeling of the old Senators. But aside from that, who cares?
We've asked this question of several fellow fans, and the go-to seems to be, "Peter Angelos is a jerk." OK, but so are all the owners. He's just better at being a jerk.
Yesterday's Nats for Bureaucrats day game gave the series against the Braves to DC. It also robbed Atlanta of its top spot in the NL East. Real things happened because of that series. The Mets took first place in the division from Atlanta.
Rivalries in sports are a good good thing, but they have to be real. They are born out of the fight over something worth having - like a division title. That's what drives the age-old, great rivalries, like the Cubs and Cards, Yankees and BoSox, and even the Tigers and Indians. Frank Robinson didn't make any friends in the ticket sales department, but he was right when he said last year that the O's were never rivals with the Senators, because there was never any real threat to the O's.
When the fight isn't over the division, proximity and bragging rights become the premise, but the premise is pretty tired. Fans move from town to town almost as often as the players. We can watch or listen to just about any team from anywhere. If we don't like the looks of those options, we can build our own team and live in Fantasy Baseball World.
The biggest flaw in the invented Nationals/Orioles rivalry lies in the fact that a huge percentage of Nationals fans were Orioles fans until two and one-quarter seasons ago. Aside from the crazy, rabid lawyers, the divorce was pretty amicable. Hell, every once and a while, we even drop into each other's stadiums for a quick booty call.
There is no more heat in a Baltimore/Washington rivalry than there is in a Kansas City/Washington rivalry. WOO-HOO! The Nats have dumped the Worst Record in Baseball yoke on the Royals! Take THAT, KC!
This weekend, we want very much to beat the O's, but not really because it's the O's. This little team is turning into something, and it's a blast to watch them play.
We'll be in the stands tonight. Again. Many many thanks go to our families and friends, who have put up with us being at 6 of the last 7. When they wrap up this homestand, it will have been 8 of 10. There is much housekeeping to be done. There is also a great need for a dietary change. It's taken a toll, but man we're having fun.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
On either side of him are Cameron and Sloane.
Cameron's scarfing nachos.
I think I broke my thumb.
Can we leave now?
You want to leave? We just got here.
You got a call, you broke your thumb,
what's left to do?
No wonder you're always sick.
to the bright sun.
Do you realize that if I played by
the rules, right now I'd be in gym?
I feel awful.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Washington - 4
Atlanta - 3
15 - 26
Pitches-strikes: James 96-63, Paronto 10-7, Yates 14-7, Moylan 19-11, Chico 89-59, Traber 6-5, Colome 11-6, Rauch 9-6.
Ground outs-fly outs: James 4-7, Paronto 0-0, Yates 4-1, Moylan 3-0, Chico 9-8, Traber 1-2, Colome 1-1, Rauch 0-2.
Batters faced: James 26, Paronto 2, Yates 5, Moylan 5, Chico 24, Traber 3, Colome 3, Rauch 3.
Inherited runners-scored: Paronto 1-1, Yates 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Gerry Davis. 1B: Mike Everitt. 2B: Paul Nauert. 3B: Brian Gorman.
Weather: 67 degrees, cloudy.
Wind: 8 mph, Out to CF.
The accusation has been made that this documented chronology of The Washington Nationals Baseball Club has, from time to time, been a bit "wonky". In this episode, we will attempt to sum up last night's win over the Atlanta Braves using pictures to get even the dumbest of you to understand what happened.
The Washington Nationals made a lot of this
After The Atlanta Braves made one of these
in the bottom of the fifth inning.
The Nationals scored four of these.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I was not able to attend last night's Game II in the Braves series, but I read all about it.
The uhhhhh ... the field looked fantastic. Grounds Crew is doing a terrific job.
"Tim Hudson pitched well just to make me look bad.
Some birthday present! My pinky hurts.
Wah wah wah."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
It wasn't right that 18,000 Nats fans boo'ed John Smoltz off the field when he got hurt. So he threw a little tantrum. When we here at The Post get hurt, we too get all mad and start screaming and stomping our feet and crying like a debutante's ugly older sister when the open bar runs out of scotch.
All of us at RFK last night should have been thanking him, not booing loudly and inquiring as to the state of his vagina. He let Gooz hit that sweet triple. That was so kind. If he hadn't decided to allow Kearns to hit that double, Austin would never have had the chance to intentionally and brutally attack and leave him for dead. What a giver! Thank you, Mr. Smoltz.
Hey look, he dislocated his pinky, man. You only have two of those. That hurts enough to make any man throw a hissy fit on the diamond and tearfully accuse a guy of deliberately trying to give you The Pain. That's his littlest piggy - on his teacup hand.
John, we know you're reading this, and all of us at TNP want to apologize. You're not a hothouse flower. We never should have called you that. Hopefully you'll accept the Yankee Candle we sent to your dressing room. Lilac aromatherapy is supposed to be good for sore joints. Don't forget to open the card. It has a gift certificate for a full day of pampering at a spa. It's a token of our hope that we can heal this friendship which - like your booboo - has become disfigured and a tragic shade of purple.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
9 hours of Marlins-sweeping baseball
8 hours of work
16 hours of sleep
15 hours of driving to and from DC
4 hours of rain delays
4 hours of telling my mom, wife, and mom-in-law how very very very special and important and wonderful and great and terrific they truly really are.
5 minutes to write this dumb post
16 hours, 55 minutes of lawn mowing, sidewalk building, movie filming, post-hole digging, dump running, house maintaining, and doing other things that one simply has to do if one hopes to go see the Natties take on the Braves tomorrow night.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
We here at The Nationals Post don't want to be a wet blanket. We know it's only May and far too early to say definitively, but none of us gets the feeling like this team is going to the World Series in 2007. We just think Third Base Coach Tim Tolman makes too many mistakes.
So many different ingredients go into Championship Soup, and this team seems to be a little short on oregano. And talent. So what's a fan to do when his team's destiny is pretty well pre-determined by the cruel cold fact that we've got an Applebees payroll in a Red Lobster league?
Here's a snake I saw.
It was just sitting there!
No, we're not going to answer that question. We were asking you the question, which means you have to answer it. So, what do y'got? Let's hear your brilliant idea. You came to this blog, now how 'bout let's don't just sit there reading, huh Sparky?
What? Let Tony Batista pinch hit? Oh, that's a brilliant idea if we understand it correctly. They already did that, Einstein. He hasn't exactly set the woods on fire. He's still dizzy from the sucker punches life's been handing him. The poor guy asked for a few dollars more back in oh-four and the Expos sent him packin' to Japan. Then the Twins picked him up just to knock him back down. Now he's Gabe-Freakin'-Kaplan. Hey Tony! Welcome back to The Exponals! Bet you won't ask for a raise again, will ya?
be some kind of metaphor
Alright, since your answer sucked it hard, we're gonna go ahead and let you off the hook and tell you our Master Plan. It's called
Official Picture of
See, the silver lining to belonging to the fan base of a suck team is that there is less-than zero pressure. It's 110% fun, Bippy! While those fools down in Atlanta and up at Shea Stadium are living and dying on every stinkin' at-bat*, we're gonna be at RFK laughing, screaming, and jumping around like a bunch of people who paid to get in to a stadium full of people.
Hey Sarge! The missiles are already in the air and headed this way. LET'S PARTY.
This weekend, while the Florida Marlins are in town, the staff and management of The Nationals Post will be in the stands at every game.
We'll be packin' some of these.
Come on baby (don't fear the reaper)
baby take my hand (TINK TINK TINK TINK)
And a couple of these.
And a lot of this.
You SUCK, Dontrelle!
That's right everbudduh! This is OUR Washington Nationals, and we are here to drop a giant, steaming pile of love on them. This is the time to let'em know we're willing to drive right off this cliff alongside them. So come out to the game, or at least wear someting stupid while you watch it on the TEEvee. Are you going to let the stinkin' Marlins walk into OUR HOUSE without letting them know we're home? The weekend's here and they're playin' baseball. SUIT UP! LET'S DO THIS THING.
*"Hey you didn't mention the Phillies".