Grand slam dunk

~~~











There are little games we like to play in the stands when not much is happening on the field. There's mound ball, armrest elbow wrestling, and drop the peanut (upper deck, front row game). One of our favorite games-while-watching-the-game is called Find the Spy. RFK stadium is one scant mile from the Capitol, the Department of JUSTICE!, the Russell Senate Office Building, and Nightclub 9:30*.

Somewhere in the crowd of any home game, there is mos def a spy who is making a dead drop. Maybe an Aramark guy is passing an Italian sausage stuffed with a thumb drive full of state secrets to a crooked war contractor. At the very least, some congressman's aid is in the crowd, casually setting down a Bud bottle stuffed with hundred dollar bills. It gets picked up by a guy in the next seat who can erase names from Deborah Jeane Palfrey's little black book.

"How will I know you?" the aid nervously asks over a borrowed cell phone.
"I'll be the guy in the Tampa Bay Devil Rays game jersey" replies the extortionist.
"What if there's more than one guy in a D-Rays jersey?"
"You worry too much."



You want to keep an eye out for these kinda people


We always give an extra look to the "fans" who show up wearing a suit, tie, and brand new bright red baseball cap. That's the fella who's going to sink the ships.



"I'm the reliever"


Baseball is a game filled with intrigue. While the catcher is flashing signs to the pitcher, the third base coach is going through what appears to be a bout of delirium tremors. They are actually secret messages to the guy on first base.** He's silently telling the runner, "these are fake signals I'm using. The real signals are being given by the photographer in the camera well beside the dugout. Oh yes ... he's with us." To think that the same amount of mystery and obfuscation were not happening in the rest of the ballpark, well that's just retardulous.

Find the Spy is very good for one's outlook. Assuming that at least a few of these people are highly skilled espionage agents pushes back the overwhelming urge to harshly judge the whole lot in the stands as a pack of low functioning drones. It forces us to be more discerning with our smug superiority. If you roll your eyes at the wrong person, you might be swiftly and silently killed with a Chad Cordero bobblehead.



It's all part of a vast, right field conspiracy.










*There aren't spies at Nightclub 9:30. We just mentioned it because that place ROCKZ!.

** Unless it's the hitting coach or the GM - then, yeah, it's DT's.



~~~K. Provost~~~



Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Washington - 12 (!)
Cincinatti - 7
18-29 (This game puts the Nats and the Reds in a TIE for WORST IN THE NL!)

WP: Lohse.
IBB: Ross (by Simontacchi).
HBP: Zimmerman (by Burton).
Pitches-strikes: Simontacchi 91-59, Rivera 29-15, King 6-2, Abreu 5-3, Rauch 35-23, Colome 15-10, Lohse 92-57, Coffey 38-23, Burton 20-12, Stanton 20-14.
Ground outs-fly outs: Simontacchi 6-6, Rivera 1-2, King 0-0, Abreu 0-1, Rauch 1-2, Colome 1-1, Lohse 6-5, Coffey 4-2, Burton 1-0, Stanton 2-1.
Batters faced: Simontacchi 23, Rivera 8, King 1, Abreu 2, Rauch 7, Colome 4, Lohse 24, Coffey 10, Burton 5, Stanton 6.
Inherited runners-scored: Rivera 2-0, King 3-1, Abreu 3-2, Coffey 2-0, Stanton 3-3.
EjectionsWashington Nationals pitcher Ray King ejected by HP umpire Lance Barksdale. (7th).
Umpires: HP: Lance Barksdale. 1B: Tim Welke. 2B: Jim Reynolds. 3B: Gary Cederstrom.
Weather: 84 degrees, partly cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, In from RF.
T: 3:38.
Att: 31,971.


*******


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Washington - 8
Cincinatti - 4
17-29

Pitches-strikes: Chico 95-60, King 5-3, Colome 30-17, Cordero 24-15, Saarloos 78-48, Stanton 17-12, Coffey 5-4, Coutlangus 22-12, Salmon 8-5, Burton 11-9.
Ground outs-fly outs: Chico 8-6, King 0-0, Colome 2-3, Cordero 0-1, Saarloos 10-4, Stanton 0-2, Coffey 1-1, Coutlangus 1-0, Salmon 1-1, Burton 2-0.
Batters faced: Chico 23, King 1, Colome 7, Cordero 5, Saarloos 24, Stanton 5, Coffey 3, Coutlangus 5, Salmon 2, Burton 3.
Inherited runners-scored: King 2-0, Stanton 1-0, Coffey 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Gary Cederstrom. 1B: Lance Barksdale. 2B: Tim Welke. 3B: Jim Reynolds.
Weather: 84 degrees, clear.
Wind: 10 mph, In from RF.
T: 2:58.
Att: 16,732.



*******



Monday, May 21, 2007

Washington - 7
Cincinatti - 8
16 - 29
Lead pissed away in the 8th inning

IBB: Ross (by Speigner), Langerhans (by Arroyo).
Pitches-strikes: Speigner 66-37, Abreu 31-20, Rivera 15-10, Rauch 29-22, Arroyo 62-32, Santos 57-37, Coffey 12-8, Coutlangus 17-11, Weathers 15-8.
Ground outs-fly outs: Speigner 2-6, Abreu 5-2, Rivera 2-1, Rauch 1-0, Arroyo 2-2, Santos 4-2, Coffey 2-0, Coutlangus 0-2, Weathers 0-2.
Batters faced: Speigner 18, Abreu 9, Rivera 4, Rauch 6, Arroyo 15, Santos 14, Coffey 3, Coutlangus 4, Weathers 4.
Inherited runners-scored: Coutlangus 1-0.
Umpires: HP: Jim Reynolds. 1B: Gary Cederstrom. 2B: Lance Barksdale. 3B: Tim Welke.
Weather: 82 degrees, partly cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, R to L.
T: 2:50.
Att: 15,271.