Wednesday, June 25, 2008

TOLD YA

~~~





Johnson sidelined for season





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... And Those Chinese Earthquake Victims Make Great Kung Pau Chicken

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Aftermath: Manila residents wade through a flooded street. Photo: Bullit Marquez
June 23, 2008




Earlier this week, coastal areas of the Phillippines were devastated by Typhoon Fengshen and looked a lot like Louisiana following hurricane Katrina. President Bush met with President Arroyo, a stalwart American ally. Let's listen in ...



Oval Office
10:25 EDT
June 24, 2008


PRESIDENT BUSH: Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.

President George W. Bush welcomes President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo of the Republic of the Philippines to the Oval Office Tuesday, June 24, 2008, at the White House. The President expressed deep condolences for those affected by Typhoon Fengshen saying, "We, the American people, care about the human suffering that's taking place, and we send our prayers." White House photo by Eric DraperPRESIDENT ARROYO: Yes.

PRESIDENT BUSH: And the chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way, Madam President.

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you.

~ (later) ~

PRESIDENT BUSH: ... and so, all in all, we had a very constructive talk. I'm proud you're here.

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Thanks for coming.

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you, thank you. Mr. President, with your permission, I'd like to address our countrymen in my own native language. (Speaks in Tagalog.)

PRESIDENT BUSH: I couldn't have said it better myself. (Lean-in shoulder laugh)

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Thank you, all.

END 10:30 A.M. EDT

Full transcript.




"Heh heh ... heh heh heh"





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Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin Memorial Theatre

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Random Guy #1: Hey, did you hear? George Carlin died.

Random Guy #2: Really? I just saw him yesterday.

Random Guy #1: Yeah? It didn't help. He died anyway. Apparently, the simple act of your seeing him did not slow down his heart disease. In fact it may have made it more aggressive. You know, you may be responsible for George's death.

*****

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN ... BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN:
These videos contain some BAD WORDS.

*****







In his first 25 years on stage, he had the ability to say that 99 people out of 100 are idiots and make you feel like he wasn't talking about you. In his last 25 years, the subtlety steadily receded because time was running out and he could see that the idiots were still not getting it. Not you, though. He didn't mean you.







George Carlin was like the lone uncle at a family reunion who would tell the kids the real reason their grandmother walked with a limp. You could always find him, because he was surrounded 3 deep by those kids. Happily, a lot of stuff he said was into a microphone.






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Now They're Not Even Trying

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The following is an actual headline written by The Associated Press. It is not some cutesy play on words or joke headline. They really mean it:





The story is not about the Nationals offense, either. It does kind of foreshadow tonight's pitching lineup in DC.




WINDSHIELD






BUG



That's the conventional wisdom, anyway. That said, Bergman is looking strong in the 4th inning, the infield defense is strong, and Willie Harris just took Lackey yard. Harris now has three home runs this season. That's two more than WiMP. Just sayin'.




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Daddy's Little Unpaid Labor

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Ro's first solo flight on the mighty ZTS 7500



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Nick Johnson - See You In 2009

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Done for the season? Yes. I'm gonna say yes. The bat he's
holding here has a brighter career outlook than Johnson's.



Nobody is saying anything officially yet, but it doesn't look good when you piece together the clues. Nick is reading a Field & Stream at this moment, in the waiting room at the Mayo Clinic. Back in May, Johnson tore a tendon sheath in his right wrist. It may surprise you to learn that I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure a tendon sheath is the sausage container holding in all the yuck. It's a "sheath" that surrounds the "tendon". The wrist was put in a cast back in May. Since then, they've removed the cast twice. Each time, Nick "reported soreness". In other words, it hurt like 8 bitches in a bitch boat.


This image illustrates an attempt at credibilty when I talk medical shop



Now, I'm no mathematician, but I can count. He's worn the cast for 39 days. There are 97 days of season left, and he's turning those waiting room magazine pages with his left hand. Nick's done for the season, again.



On the field, things have gotten desperate. In Saturday night's 13-3 debacle, Dmitri Young kept his foot on the bag to get the out as the ball sailed past his glove. That's not a lack of athletic ability, but rather a lack of instinct. A first baseman's first job is to make the catch, then get the out. Young is also still struggling against his insulin to lose weight, and the insulin is winning. He's still hitting well, but his weight is higher than his batting average. There is no way anyone can dislike Dmitri Young. He's a truly good guy and he remains a great asset to the Nats, but he's not the answer at first base.

This team is scrambling to fill holes all across the lineup. No team could maintain anything close to a winning record without their guys on first, third, right field, catcher, and closing pitcher. This goes a fairly good distance in explaining the abominations Saturday night against Texas and the series in Minnesota. Anytime we see Paul LoDuca guarding first base, it's going to be a long, ugly day.

There are some glimmers of hope. Garrett Mock's low-cost airplane has touched down back in Columbus and a guy named Steven Shell showed off a pretty decent fastball, shutting down three in a row in the top of the ninth during the 5-3 loss to the rangers on Sunday. Odalis Perez is on his way back and expected to make his next start.


I was like, "OK who's zis sporto?"


Pete Orr also started in Sunday's game and looked like he came for a job interview. Orr played second while Belliard covered third for Zimmerman, who is also most likely gone for the season. He reminds me of Jamie Carrol, whom Jim Bowden gave away for $300,000.00.

Speaking of Bowden, his influence appears to be waning as more and more guys come in who were either with the Braves or somehow associated with Stan Kasten. As Bowden's pet projects Wille Mo Peña and Felipe Lopez are all but surrendering, we're seeing Willie Harris and Pete Orr - both former Braves - being moved into position.



In July, it's this reporter's bold and reckless opinion that Aaron Boone will be at first, Dmitri Young will be benched, Willie Mo Peña will be traded, Willie Harris will platoon with someone else in left field, Belliard will be back at second, Lopez will be traded, and Pete Orr may well find a job at third - if he continues to impress.



The deck will keep getting shuffled, and we're likely to see more crooked numbers on the scoreboard in the meantime. If there's an upside, it's this; we're getting to see a lot of young and new talent. As for downside, there's more than enough to go around. It's hard to watch, but the staff and management of TNP are up to the task.










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Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Fetid Stench of Apathy

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June 21, 2008


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Texas
3 0 0 1 0 0 7 1 1
13 18 0
Washington
0 0 0 2 1 0 0 0 0
3 8 0










Manny Acta can't sleep. He is, at this very moment, lying in his bed staring out at the overnight thunderstorm moving in on the city. His insomnia is not down to the light show and thunder. Nobody who grew up on an island in the Caribbean is much impressed by DC heat and rain. He rolls to the side of the bed and massages his eye sockets.

Tonight's 13-3 in game 2 of the Rangers series was humiliating. The image of Felipe Lopez crouching with his elbows on his knees, staring down at the infield grass even as the next pitch was due, keeps shimmering to the surface of Manny's semi-conscious mind. They all stood out there, so flat-footed and wooden.

He knows that Bowden and Rizzo, and Kasten are all awake somewhere, right now, mulling their options. Careers are about to be altered. There is no choice at this point. That's not what's keeping the skipper awake either. He has no control over who gets hired and who gets fired, and Manny is annoyingly good at recognizing things over which he has no control. Out of the myriad of troubles swirling around this ball club - the injuries, the lack of hitting, the premature baby that is the bullpen, the home crowd that is now officially done with being "just glad to have baseball back in DC' and is turning uglier than a barroom in Philly on a Friday night in September, and the fast-approaching trade deadline with a roster devoid of value - Acta has a problem that trumps them all.

In less than 12 hours, he has to go out there and do it again.

John Lannan, the kid with great stuff will take the mound. That's pretty close to engraved in stone. After that, the lineup is no more solid than the film floating atop the Anacostia River. There are just so many holes in this lineup. LoDuca looked no more comfortable behind the plate tonight than he did at first base last week. Dmitri Young's poor performances at first have always been acceptable because he makes up for it with the bat ... until lately. Manny re-lives the miscues of Lopez and Peña, and Milledge. And Casto, Sanches, and Manning. Nobody seemed to even be interested. But that game is over, and Manny no longer has any control over that. The AC drones relentlessly as it tries to keep pace with the humidity in Acta's room.

And then there's the problem of Elijah Dukes. In game 1, Dukes could do no wrong. Skidding circus catches for crucial outs and phenomenal at-bats, including the game-winning single. . Game 2 was a complete washout for him, and therein lies the problem. It's bad enough to have a team that lives and dies on one man's performance. It's catastrophic when that one man has the ego of a fighter pilot coupled with the maturity level of a 9 year-old meth freak with an unlimited ATM card. Simply by being the Last Hitter Standing, Dukes has morphed into a team leadership role, except that's one tool this guy doesn't own. That's not to say Dukes doesn't care. He does, but only when he feels like it. Tonight, he didn't feel like it, and everybody else just sort of followed along in their own whimsical ways.

Maybe this bunch of guys will find a way to field like a team, string together hits, and actually care about the others' performances. Maybe Zimmerman, Kearns, Cordero, and Johnson will come back in time to salvage some kind of season and, more importantly, some kind of team identity.

Meanwhile, there's one guy who has to fill out a lineup sheet and hand it to the game officials in just a few hours. At this moment, that guy is pacing in front of the bedroom TV as SportsCenter drones on and fans, bloggers, newspaper guys, players and owners catch a few hours of rest before tomorrow's matinée game.




~~~

Friday, June 20, 2008

That Big Irish Smile That Hid Absolutely Nothing

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Salute from Nationals Park June 20, 2008




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Well, That Sums It Up

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Headline on The Nationals web site:


"Defense, Offense Doom Nationals"

It's time for these boys to come home. Maybe some home-field crowd response will let them know that scoring 6 runs in response to the opposing team's 22 is not okay. They'd better do something quickly, or the crowd response will be silence.


June 17, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0
1 5 1
Minnesota
0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 X
2 5 0

June 18, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1
2 11 3
Minnesota
1 2 0 0 0 0 2 6 X
11 13 1


June 19, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
0 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 0
3 10 1
Minnesota
0 2 1 4 0 0 2 0 X
9 12 1



Even when John Lannan held the Twins to 2 lousy runs, there was no rally. DC answered with one run. Lannan is starting to accrue a W/L record that looks like Walter Johnson's. In his last 5 games, he's allowed only 11 runs, yet his team managed to lose every single one of them. Sure, Livan Hernandez was pitching for the Twins on the 17th, but Livo's not the pitcher he used to be. Nonetheless, he was made to throw only 77 pitches over the course of seven innings. 65% of them were for strikes.

Games two and three were, as you can see from the box scores, disastrous. The Nats' own headline is absolutely correct. This kind of ball playing will quickly translate to lost income. DC is a town full of out-of-towners who attend sporting events to watch a great game while doing a little business. Unlike a few of us, they don't want to be students of the game. They just want to see a spectacle. If those people decide that attending a home game isn't worth the knock to the credit card, then a lot of $300 seats, $8.00 pizza, and $7.50 beer will go unpurchased. Since the lackluster level of play hasn't done it, this is what will get people fired. As for the staff and management of the Nationals Post ... see you tonight at the ball park.








From the Star Tribune in Minneapolis:

"The Twins spanked Washington 9-3 on Thursday at the Metrodome to finish a three-game sweep, but the victory also raised a question.

Is a sweep really a sweep when it's against the Nationals?"




~~~

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Looking Forward, Looking Back

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Last Wednesday marked 20 years of marriage between my beautiful wife and me. Ellen, I love you more than anything or anybody. You amaze me. You make me smile. You're the finest person I have ever known.

Lots of people get married and then complain of feeling trapped, as if the institution of marriage were a cage built for one person, but harboring two. I've often voiced the unpopular and unromantic opinion that, for most people, marriage is a bad idea. One should not marry unless the person they love makes them feel freer than they feel on their own. The trouble is, everybody wants that person, but they are nearly impossible to find.

There's Love, which is nice. Really, really nice. If you're lucky and kind, you can find this.

Then there's Unconditional Love, which gets a lot of talk time, but is usually only found in parent/kid relationships. That's amazing stuff. I have it for my Dad (happy father's day, Dad!) and Mom. I'm unbelievably lucky to have that three times over with my kids. You see that on the news sometimes, as they haul away a guy who burned down an orphanage to kill an ex-girlfriend because she chose to become a nun instead of staying with him. There's always a camera shot of the guilty scumbag's mom or dad, screaming, "No!! Don't take him away! Don't take my baby!"
Unconditional. Love.

Then there's Unconditional Love And Understanding Of The Object Of That. That's the kind of thing you find almost never, which is why I say to most of you don't get married. It's the kind of thing that makes it nearly impossible to live without the other person. Even so, you encourage the one you want so badly to be by your side to abandon home, family, and all responsibilities to jump on a sailboat to slooooowly flooooat across the damn ocean. You don't find that kind of love in a Hallmark card. That's just one example. I got 20 year's worth if you got time.

Ellen and I took a 24 hour respite this weekend and ran away to Georgetown. Our two fabulous big kids looked after the shorter one to allow this to happen. We ate in a nice restaurant. We walked the shoppes. We toured the amazing Dumbarton Oaks Gardens as well as the somewhat nice Tudor Place estate. Mostly though, we just held hands and laughed and were absolutely happy to be together.




When we got married, nobody would have given us long shot odds of making it work. If I'd been on the outside looking in, I probably would have bet big against us. But we had insider information, and we both still know. We've got U.L.A.T.U.O.T.O.O.T. The rest of you suckers can eat your hearts out. 20 years is a damn fine start.



So many more future plans


*****

Over on the baseball front, our Nats seem to have figured out a few things. Guys are starting to get hits. Guys are playing better defensively. They recorded their first series sweep since April, and that one was against Atlanta in a weird arrangement. Game 1 of the series happened March 30th, to open the season at the new ballpark. Games 2 and 3 didn't happen until April 29th and 30th. So it didn't seem like a real series or a real sweep.

A whole mosaic of detail goes into wining just one ballgame. The tile pieces get even more intricate in a series sweep. Sometimes one tile catches the eye more than the others. In the case of our boys, that one excessively shiny shard was Elijah Dukes. Aside from hitting and fielding better, he did something a few days ago that we never saw coming. He sincerely apologized to his team for the dust up with Manny Acta last week. It was a mature, first class thing to do. I was wrong about him. Since then, DC has only won ballgames. Coincidence?


June 13, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
1 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 10 1
Seattle
1 0 2 0 2 0 0 1 0
6 15 0

June 14, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
1 0 0 1 0 0 2 0 1
5 13 0
Seattle
0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0
2 7 0

June 15, 2008

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
1 0 0 0 0 0 1 4 0
6 12 3
Seattle
0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0
2 8 1


*****


Finally, a salute with much respect to Tim Russert, the big galoot from Buffalo who became an icon of politics and defined the political interview. It wasn't just that Russert asked tough questions or did great research. In fact, I spent many a Sunday morning yelling at my TV and scolding him for missing the point of this statement or that issue. Any political junkie could tell you that Russert did as fine a job as Stephanopoulos, or Mathews, or Blitzer, or Schieffer. They'd also tell you that Meet The Press is the one show they watch more than any of the other, because Russert was always a little bit better. He was also a little more human. He had a real laugh and a genuine glint in his eyes. He seemed to understand politics as being the most important and interesting sport of all, where score was kept as lives saved, lives changed, lives lost (runs, hits, and errors?). He had just returned from Italy, having celebrated his son, Luke's, graduation. His combat boots were wingtips, and he died with them on. NBC is going to need 10 outstanding pros to replace Tim Russert.


Tim Russert behind the dugout in the 2005 season opener. 
Vinny Castilla had just homered. That's Luke Russert to his Dad's right. 
James Carville is pictured in that row as well. Tim Russert was a 
Washington Nationals season ticket holder.




Luke Russert, this morning, after a MTP tribute show wherein
his Dad's chair remained empty.




~~~

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Conspiracy of English Majors

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June 13, 2008


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Washington
1 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7 10 1
Seattle
1 0 2 0 2 0 0 1 0
6 15 0



MEDICATED BOARD OP: Good morning, WAMU.

CURMUDGEON: Yeah, hey how doon. Listen, you just said on air a coupla minutes ago that The Washington Nationals lost last night in Seattle.

MBO: ... ok ...

CRMDGN: ... when in fact they won last -

MBO: uhhh ...

CRMDGN: -night see. They're few and far is all and -

MBO: What team was it that, uhhh, when do you think you heard this?

CRMDGN: When do I think ... they - listen they WON 7-6 last night. Not lost. I know it's an NPR affiliate I'm talking to, but you do know there's a difference, right?

MBO: Thanks for your call. I'll uhh, see what I can do.

CRMDGN: I know you're busy. I'll let you get back to listening to the network story about petting whales. Hello?




~~~

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Past Used To Be The Future

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These extraordinary images are amongst a huge number of treasures to be found on a site called Shorpy. Big thanks to Johnny for sending it.



National Photo Company Collection glass negative.

Washington, D.C. "Central Stadium, 1925." Natty attire as far as the eye can see. Not sure where Central Stadium was. Was it renamed? Anyone?

UPDATE: Nats320 ID's this as Cardoza High School. THANKS!







National Photo Company collection glass negative, Library of Congress.


September 30, 1924. Washington Senators pitcher Walter Johnson, aka "The Big Train," with his wife, mother and children at Union Station. Was he going somewhere? The 1924 World Series started on October 4 at Griffith Stadium on Georgia Avenue and W Street, in NW DC. Maybe he just got off the train from an away game. The more you look at this image, the more you see.





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Acta's Limit

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When his guys make mistakes, he's philosophical. During even the most lopsided, humiliating routes, he defends his players. There is nobody in baseball with a cooler facade than Washington Nationals Manager, Manny Acta.

Some have misinterpreted that calm affectation as a sign that he is laid back, that his management style is to go along as a Friend of the Player. It would seem that even some of his players have made that mistake, or at least they might have up until last night.

Maybe Elijah Dukes didn't know about Acta benching a player last season when he failed to run out an infield popup. Maybe he forgot that Lastings Milledge got benched in a game earlier this season because he showed up late for work. Maybe he simply failed to even give his manager a moment's thought.

Manny, along with Jim Bowden, have put a lot at risk in bringing in a guy with a long record (both in baseball and court) of being a problem. Even so, Acta stands up for him in press conferences in spite of what has been an abysmal hitting record thus far. Last night at PNC Stadium in Pittsburgh, Dukes got two hits in five plate appearances. He scored once, on Lastings Milledge's 9th inning homer - a moment that should have been allowed to pass quietly at the other team's park and celebrated in the morning papers in DC. Instead, the Nats looked every bit like the girls softball team that Nelson Figueroa said they were.

In stark contrast, Ronnie Belliard went 3 for 4 at the plate. Two out of three of those hits were over the wall. For so many good reasons, he trotted around the bases and into the bullpen with very little fuss. That's how Kearns would have done it, or Zimmerman, or Johnson.

If one really wants to see the threshold of Manny's patience, try representing your team at home plate with your own lower level of professionalism and sportsmanship instead of stepping up and representing Acta's. Dukes has a temper that will prevent him from achieving a level of greatness equal to his abilities. It's the kind of temper that argues balls and strikes with an umpire. It's the mindset that rationalizes that he can get away with grandstanding in the middle of someone else's park. And it's the lack of maturity that makes him believe that publicly disrespecting the team manager will go unnoticed and without consequences. Elijah Dukes just jaywalked into a whole mess of trouble. Manny Acta is about to clarify a few misconceptions.










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