Sunday, September 28, 2008

BLOODBATH

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This morning, before the final game of what would soon become a season of 102 losses, the Washington Nationals informed 5 out of their 6 coaches that they were unemployed.

First Base Coach Jerry Morales

Third Base Coach Tim "stop! No, GO!" Tolman

(Lack of) Hitting Coach Lenny Harris

Bench Coach Pat Corrales

Bullpen Coach Rick Aponte

The only survivor was pitching coach Randy St Claire. If the 102 losses are not enough to convince you that these guys needed to go, look at the records of all the players that left.

Ryan Church
Brian Schneider
Luis Ayala
Felipe Lopez
even Paul LoDuca

All these guys have shown extreme improvement in their numbers since going somewhere else. We're sure there are more players than we listed, but we get the feeling you don't really want to wonk out on this. Just take our word for it for some reason, they're all living better lives.

Today marks the second purge that was survived by pitching coach Randy St Claire. He was the sole survivor after the 2006 season, when Frank Robinson was shown the door. Manny Acta came in and had a big say in choosing his coaches - all the coaches that were fired today.

Two big questions remain: Will anyone from management be canned, and is Manny Acta's job safe? Actually, there are a whole lot more questions, but we felt that framing it as just two questions made in more, you know, dramatic.






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3 comments:

FlapScrap said...

What does this tell us about the possibility that 800 pound primate bipeds, Sasquatches, roam the northwestern regions of Canada?

Uncle Steve said...

What? I thought WE had Sasquatch here in GA! I missed the special press conference about it a few weeks ago, which was oddly held in LA, to show the world PROOF that Bigfoot was found in north Georgia. Now you tell me that they're up near Alaska. Did Sarah Palin have something to do with this?

FlapScrap said...

Well, the Sasquatches are just across the border from Alaska, so Alaskans -- most especially the Governor -- do have to keep an eye on them rearing their heads.