Teixeira's Not Coming. Mark It, Dude.

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The Winter Meetings scuttlebutt is that we're in a close race with Boston and Baltimore at this moment to get superstar Mark Teixeira. It's light on scuttle on heavy on butt. MT wants $20 million a year for ten years. He's a Maryland boy, but the trains run pretty frequently to Boston. Here's what's going to actually happen: Boston was chasing hard for AJ Burnett, but seems to have cooled off on him. Late last night at the Bellagio in Vegas, the Yankees and Braves were locked in a massive Nite Fite for the pitcher.

Disengaging from Burnett frees up a lot of cash in the pockets of the Sox. They will stay in the race for MT, thus keeping his ridiculous asking price legitimate looking. In the end, Teixeira will sign a massive contract with Baltimore after Boston sobers up and realizes $200,000,000.00 is a really big number. Baltimore will outbid DC by $10 million or so. Why will Baltimore prevail over Washington? Because the Nats burned all their player credibility last year and Teixeira wants a chance to win some games.

The slighted Nationals will then sign Adam Freakin' Dunn, because we like our players like we like our chili - Cincinnati style. There will be massive spinning that this is actually a positive, and Dunn will get a news release saying that he's the cat's pajamas every other day until spring training.

There is absolutely no chance The Washington Nationals sign Mark Teixeira. We're afraid to believe anything else, because we've been hurt before.

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