So Long, Jon Rauch

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Straight traded for an untested 2nd base prospect?
Not even a "... and a player to be named later"?
Whaddupwiddat?



This may be an academic question, but what do we do if DC somehow arrives at the 9th inning with a bigger number in the runs column than the other team? At the risk of seeming talmudic, it could happen. Maybe Bowden figures we will never need a closer again. Maybe Paul LoDuca can be a closer in addition to his duties as catcher, first baseman, and left fielder.

We're more than happy to see Emilio Bonifacio (Spanish for "Emulsive Pretty Face") on the scene. That puts Felipe Lopez's (Spanish for "chokes in the clutch") job in play, which is the only thing he's put into play for quite some time. Is he gone yet? No? What's the holdup? I hear the Winchester Royals could use a 2nd baseman who can't hit. If he joined the Valley League, Felipe's wife could live in the same area code as her mom.

This guy Bonafacio is a RFF runner. Why send him to Columbus? The guy's 23 years old and DC sucks. It's pretty simple; dump Lopez, put in Bonifacio, and back him up with Belliard from the bench. Is Lopez gone yet? Southwest has a direct Phoenix-to-SFO flight. Emilio could get there before today's 3:45 start. Jet Blue flies direct to Dulles - a 45 minute car ride to Bridgeforth Stadium. Sure, that plane leaves from Oakland, but Felipe could jump the shuttle from The City and head for the hood. His mass o' tats should buy enough skreet cred to get him past the Crips near McAfee Stadium. One note: Avoid wearing the red W hat.

Meanwhile, Chad Cordero, still in an anesthesia haze from shoulder surgery, was none-to-pleased to hear through the grapevine that he's looking at either a massive pay cut or a job somewhere else next year. If he read TNP, at least he'd have been braced for it. GM Bowden emailed MLB.com, saying, "We hope that Chad Cordero re-signs with us, but based on his surgery, our interest would be a low base salary with incentives." What an asshole move. Hey Bowden, that Blackberry has a phone on it. Maybe you could have given your player a call first, dickhead. Maybe Jim Bowden will throw him a bone when he takes the assistant (to the) manager job in the Mexican League after the Lerners fire him in November.






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save you the trouble.