KP at HE

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I didn't mean to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleaning out my closet.




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At Shelldance

Nothing Like Breakfast in a Random Diner

Buy The Ticket, Ride The Ride

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I was wheeling through the Ear Food Records parking lot to evade an intersection when my cell phone rang. It was nurse Karen, and I was completely unprepared.

"Hi Keith. We have a surgical plan."
"But we were just there yesterday. What about the unexplained delay? Where's the callous disregard?"
"We want to get this done now, so Ro can have a great summer vacation, right?"
"Yeah, I know. It's just a little jarring. The reality is settling in. I don't even get this kind of customer service when I buy a cup of coffee."
"Maybe we should go over the surgical plan?" Karen's an Alpha Nurse.

So here it is, folks. The Plan.

Friday, March 27 - Pre-op appointment.
This is the meeting where we do blood work, fill out paperwork, sign all those forms that indemnify the hospital. We'll also tour the post-op center and get a look at the Expensive Care Unit.

Tuesday, March 31 at 6:30 am - Surgery #1.

Monday, April 6 - Surgery #2.

Each surgery will probably last four to five hours.

So there it is. Real as can be.



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Good Laughiness

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There Was No Cat. I Feel So Used.

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The little prep sheet said to get to the CT scan place ONE HOUR EARLY. Is there a security clearance and baggage check at the place with the scanny stuff? Turns out, yeah there is. Nonetheless, because we read the little sheet and followed the directions, we were rewarded. They whisked us to the Xpress Lane. 20 minutes, and our kid was loaded up with a pack of cheese cracker nabs and a juicebox. I didn't get anything, but I stole a Hershey Kiss.

After the CT scan at Fontaine Research Park, we headed to the Kluge Building for x-rays. They could have done x-rays at the same place we got the CT scan, but the tech at Kluge said Dr. Abel only likes her x-rays. Smug little hussy. They were good shots though. She had Ro lie on a table and bend to the left like this ( and then to her right, like this ) .




These shots were taken to see how much flexibility there is in her spine. Next was family participation time. Ellen grabbed her wrists and I took hold of her ankles and we pulled as hard as we could. Pull traction! Smile! BZZZT! Radiation!

Next, Ro had to stand facing the wall, very much like the end of The Blair Witch Project.

So OK. Are you ready? Because you're going to say what the tech, the head nurse, and my mom all said:


"Holy shit."

We had a great meeting with Karen, the head nurse. The surgeon couldn't be there, because he was in surgery. How lame is that, don't it? Karen had ninja nurse skills. Ellen rained a ballistic hell of questions down on her, and she answered every one of them.



1 - Between the first and second surgery, Ro has to be in a halo. Does she have to wear a body cast to stabilize the halo?

~~ Nope, no body cast, but the halo is bolted in.

2 - During the week between surgeries, is she in traction? Is it 24 hours a day?

~~ Yes. She's in traction 24 hours a day. The first surgery involves moving the spine by removing bone fragments. The second involves attaching the rods. In between, traction is held with the halo, and that is what keeps everything in place.

3 - Will she spend that time in one position?

~~ Yes.

4 - Assuming she will have narcotics on board in the week between surgeries, how do we contend with constipation? (it's a big issue, because you ... ummm ... really have to put your back into it when things are tight.)

~~ We've got mad drugs for that.

5 - Her rib hump (the bump on her back) is currently 25º. What will it reduce down to after surgery?

~~ That depends on decisions that the surgeon has to make.

6 - Will Ro be in ICU after either surgery?

~~ Yes, for at least one night and possibly the entire week.

7 - Where on the vertebrae will the rods be placed? (We know from thoracic to lumbar, but not which vertebrae specifically)

~~ Thoracic 1 or 2 to Lumbar 4 or 5 (ish)

8 - For the two hour ride home, how should we prep a vehicle? Does she need to be lying down?

~~ Seated position. Seatbelt on.

9 - Can we get a second bed in hospital room for parent?

~~ Absolutely.

10 - Wound care management - lots of sub-questions regarding drainage, dressings, as well as patient assistance in sittiing, rolling, etc.

~~ We'll get lots of on the job training while in hospital.

Thankfully, Ellen was laser-focused on the questions. I was sitting with Ro, who I could swear said, "There's a weasle penis on that wall." Naturally, I was startled. I looked at a wall filled with goofy pictures and spotted the one she pointed out. It was a ferret playing a piano - a weasle pianist. Thank God. Ro realized from my expression what I thought she'd said, and began cracking up. We missed a few important points the nurse was making.

Since the doc was not there, we still do not have a hard and firm date for surgery. That said, we know that March 30 is open and a strong possibility. On the way home, Ro asked to stop at Chipoltle. She scored a fat veggie burrito with black beans, rice, corn salsa, cheese, and lettuce. She ate the entire beast. If any of this is troubling her, she hides it like a professional gambler.

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High Creepiness Factor.

S, I C T scan

The Waiting ...

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Today, Ro is scheduled to get a CT scan and bending x-rays. We came to Charlottesville yesterday (Sunday) and had a slumber party with Keith and Emily. Last night, we all went out for authentic Mexican food. The menu had an image of an Aztec dude preparing to sacrifice a virgin. When you're greeted with this, there's no way you can lose. I had the enchilada molé, with a side of guac and some sangre virgen salsa.



Now we're chilling out and watching the clock for CT scan time. Ellen is reviewing and organizing an impressive list of questions for the nurses and surgeons. Here's a sampling:

1 - Between the first and second surgery, Ro has to be in a halo. Does she have to wear a body cast to stabilize the halo?

2 - During the week between surgeries, is she in traction? Is it 24 hours a day?

3 - Will she spend that time in one position?

4 - Assuming she will have narcotics on board in the week between surgeries, how do we contend with constipation? (it's a big issue, because you ... ummm ... really have to put your back into it when things are tight.)

5 - Her rib hump (the bump on her back) is currently 25º. What will it reduce down to after surgery?

6 - Will Ro be in ICU after either surgery?

7 - Where on the vertebrae will the rods be placed? (We know from thoracic to lumbar, but not which vertebrae specifically)

8 - For the two hour ride home, how should we prep a vehicle? Does she need to be lying down?

9 - Can we get a second bed in hospital room for parent?

10 - Wound care management - lots of sub-questions regarding drainage, dressings, as well as patient assistance in sittiing, rolling, etc.


There are more. Oh my, yes. Many more questions. Meantime, we prep and wait. Ro is drinking lots of water - doctor's orders - and keeping busy.

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Tell You What, Mister

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If these four clowns all showed up at the same time to ask me if my daughter could go out to the county fair and then maybe a Frosty at the Wendy's, I know what I'd say. She can go with the Soul Train over there. The rest of y'all miscreants get off my porch.







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The Big Season

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Big news: Adam Dunn signs with the Nationals

Welcome back the The Nationals Post.

Consider this post the official start of the 2009 season. We begin it with two BIG NEWS items:

Big News Item 1:
Nationals GM Jim Bowden surprises no one by bagging yet another overrated former Red! Welcome to Washington, Adam. We hope you've finally learned to hit down the left field line, since every defense in the league plays you with a major infield shift and you tend to strike out rather than slap the ball. For $20 million, you damn sure better log another 40 homers, because this fan base is getting pretty restless.

That said, it feels good just to be bitching about baseball again. What a marvelous waste of time. This season will be a very important one for the staff and management of The Nationals Post. The need for an elegant and engaging distraction will be great. When one's mind is troubled, there is no booze or drug anywhere near as capable of calming it as are the subtle dramas within any ballgame.

This season, among the many posts you will endure about our losing team, among the political rants and the blurry iPhone photo posts, there will be one common thread that will weave its way through every single sentence. That thread is Ro, and we have big news of our own regarding this amazing kid.



Big News Item 2:
After more than two years of physical therapy, traction, and every other remotely viable option we could find to address the severe scoliosis in Ro's spine, we have come to an excessively uncomfortable conclusion; surgery is our only remaining choice. At this writing, Ro has three curves in her back. The highest curve, in the upper thoracic spine, is turned to the left at nearly 80º. Ever make a left into the slow lane of a four lane boulevard? That's the turn in her spine. The biggest problem with this analogy is that your car would have to roll onto its side in order to more closely approximate her back. In addition to the three curves, the spine is twisted around, more like a young tree that is growing on a windy mountainside than a Buick trying to get over to make the on ramp coming up.

All cases of scoliosis pose an obvious structural problem in the body. The curves cause the hips, legs, arms, neck, and head to all shift position in an effort to compensate for the loss of stability. Unlike the vast majority of scoliosis cases, Ro's spine is curved toward the left side of her body. This implicates the heart and surrounding area, and poses a threat to normal cardiac and pulminary function.

The surgeries required to correct these problems are brutal and essentially crude. Hooks are attached to each vertebrae from the top to the bottom of the spine, and two titanium rods are attached to the hooks. While the proceedure has improved over time, it is essentially the same handyman techinque that was developed well over 50 years ago. To put it ever so mildly, we did not want to opt for surgery, and we tried hard to avoid it, but here we are. It's our last, least-worst option.

On Monday, we will drive south 120 miles to University of Virginia Hospital, where preliminary x-rays will be taken, along with a CT scan. Afterwhich, we'll pelt one of the surgeons who will be performing two separate procedures with a barrage of follow-up questions. Tuesday is likely the day we will lay down an actual schedule. The sketch plan is to do the first surgery on a Monday, and the second one week later. Between the two, Ro will remain in hospital. She'll have to be in a halo, which is one hell of a euphemism. After the second surgery, she'll remain in hospital for about one more week. When she comes home, we'll spend a lot of time working with her towards a recovery.

Is this plan crazy enough to work? Does it scare the hell out of me? Yes, and yes. Will it fix the problem? Asking this question invariably gets us answers similar to asking the White House if the stimulous package will fix the economy. "We can't guarantee anything, but you have to do it, and it's going to hurt a lot." Thankfully, I've got Ellen and she's got me. And Ro? Please, my nillas. She's a rock. She can't wait to take the field.

Which brings us back to baseball. This coming Nationals season, with new lefty Scott Olsen in the rotation, an overloaded outfield, and as of today Adam Dunn playing at first, could well be an extremely important diversion from the rigors of real life. Or not. We really don't know what to expect, which is the thing that fosters the anxiety. And it fosters hope.

One word of caution to you, dear reader; if you say to us, "let me know if there's anything I can do to help", rest assured that we will think of something. And thank you. We love you.

Watch this space.



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We're Gonna Be In The Hudson

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Sorry about the 20 second (seems longer) ad up front. While it's playing, just keep chanting, "CBS doesn't understand new media".







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