The iPad is Retarded
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Old people love the new Big Button iPhone.
The long-standing rule that one should never, never, never buy first generation gadgets stands strong today. The new Apple tablet computer is now public, and while it is indeed breaking new ground in personal computers, it is also the dumbest thing we've seen since the Cube was released.
Like the iPhone, the new iPad features a gorgeous glass touch screen. Unless they've made serious upgrades to the screen, it will be even more likely to shatter than it's pocket-sized predecessor. The only thing that will be louder than the hype surrounding iPad will be the howls of despair whenever one of these hothouse flowers is pulled from some unsuspecting douchebag's iPurse only to have a million iShards cascade onto his khakis.
In fact, iPad appears to continue many of the iPhone's unfortunate traditions. It's great for surfing the web! Unless the page you're trying to load has Flash encoded. Send and receive your email! Just don't try to save that attachment to a thumb drive, because there is no USB port. "That's ok. I'll just use whatever clever mechanism those geniuses built-in so that I can add or remove files." No, you won't, because there are no clever mechanisms. Maybe they weren't pretty enough to make the cut. If you're afraid to ask how to replace the battery, it only means reality is starting to overtake hype.
The very first iPads will be wifi-enabled, and the ones coming out a month later will also have 3G. Oh good! Surely this time Apple learned their lesson and made it so the customer could choose from a long list of wireless network providers, right? Umm, about that ... no. By the way, if you're one of the million or so people who will snap-up the non-3G version just so you can declare yourself and Early Adopter, you need to be told that nobody likes you. Not even your dog.
With all that said, the new product from Apple is pretty amazing. It will most likely cause yet another revolution in development. All we're suggesting is that you keep your money in your pocket for now. Remember the original iBook? It was a toilet seat, but it grew up to be a fine little laptop. These things take time.
iPooped
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