Thanks.

~~~

Pararescueman Staff Sgt. Lopaka Mounts receives a hug from a resident after
Hurricane Ike, Sept. 13, 2008. Sergeant Mounts is assigned to the 331st Air
Expeditionary Group on Randolph Air Force Base, Texas.
- U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. James L. Harper Jr.




~~~

Dogfight

~~~

John Lannan and Pedro Martinez have at least one thing in common; they're not afraid to pitch a guy inside - with heat. The two game series up in NY last week featured some fugly moments. Elija Dukes made about 8,000,000 new friends. Guys got hit. Guys got warned. Now the circus is in our town. As a line of defense, the staff and management of TNP is taking along an angry New Yorker of our own. She says an old fashioned brawl will make her feel right at home. Roll the ugliness.


~~~

Even A Lame Duck Can Poop All Over The Constitution

~~~

"... so I twisted his pointy head off his neck, like the cap off a Budweiser bottle."

Just four months and one week from now, the most negatively consequential US President in modern history will empty the spent juice boxes out his desk, zip up his Captain America backpack, and go the hell back to Dodge. With the Super Bowl of Elections drawing near, and all of us gathered in the living room to watch it on the Tv, it's easy to forget that George W. Bush is still in the other room with all the silverware and our car keys.

Fortunately, at least one of the people we hired to babysit is keeping an eye on the Bug Smasher in Chief. Just before the weekend started, while Anderson Cooper commandeered our attention in Galveston by wearing brand new waders and doing live shots while standing waist-deep in flood water for some reason, Senator Jim Webb (D- VA) introduced a completely unnoticed bit of legislation.


If the tool is going in, make sure it's wearing protection.


Webb's proposal provides that any new security agreement negotiated between the United States and the Government of Iraq would not remain in effect unless approved by Congress. It also calls for the United States to seek a one-year extension of the United Nations Security Council mandate of the Multi-National Force in Iraq.

Webb is no rube. He pointed out that the United States' "legal authority" to maintain troops and presence in the sovereign nation of Iraq will expire on New Years Eve, 2008. On that date, Congress will not be in session, but the outgoing President will be working the phones and the fax machine. Webb warns that the guy in the White House, whom we will have all but forgotten about while we fawn over the shiny new President-Elect, will be able to execute "a constitutional coup d'etat, a further expansion of the powers of the presidency," by signing a deal hombre al hombre between the hated US President and the more hated Iraqi Prime Minister/Puppet to the US. He will use the excuse he has used many times in the past to hopscotch right over the legislature; "I'd have consultivated with y'all, but you weren't here and it was a grave matter of national securi-tie. I have to protect the 'Merican people. 9/11."

Oh, you think he wouldn't? No. Of course you don't think that. Webb actually used the phrase, "a constitutional coup d'etat". We're still hella pissed at him over FISA, but you gotta like his style.

"At risk is a further expansion of the powers of the presidency, the result of this is to affirm in many minds that the president -- any president -- no longer needs approval of congress to enter into long-term relations with another country."
- Senator Jim Webb, Ass Kicker



Wild Streak of Weather.




~~~

Walking the Walk, Then Walking Some More

~~~

"I don't want change! We're Republicans! Go away! You go away now!"
-some woman yelling at us through her closed door.


This afternoon was spent walking and knocking. Ro and I joined a bunch of other newbie political operatives (aka local folks with clipboards) in an attempt to find people who favored our candidate and convince them that they really needed, for the love of God, to vote this time around because it may just make a difference.

We met a lot of great people. We met a few haters. We woke up one shift worker. Even though we were only three-quarters of a mile from the house we had lived in for six years, we saw people and places that we had never seen before.

For the first time since the early 1960's, The Commowealth of Virginia has a chance at going Democratic in the presidential elections. It's not a great chance, but you got to play the hand you're dealt. We met a lot of people who had all but given up on the process, and a few who had written-off life altogether. One woman told us she had no intention of voting, and neither did anyone else in her house because they didn't care and nothing we said could change her mind. You don't see that kind of strident apathy very often. Usually, they just nod politely.

Mostly though, we talked to people who were pleased that someone was taking the time to talk directly with them about something that is usually somewhat disconnected from their everyday lives. One guy said that his 57 year old housemate had never voted in any election, but he was so moved by Barack Obama's acceptance speech, he registered to vote the next day. He made us wait on the porch while he went to the other side of their shared house and dragged the man out to meet us. They felt like they were a part of something. We felt the same way. We shook hands, promised each other we would vote, and continued onward.

By late afternoon, the Virginia humidity was showing its influence and vigor. Drenched in sweat, and our water bottles were long-since empty. We had walked miles of city streets and talked to so many people. We were worn out. I can't wait to do it again.

Get Involved Now.





Dominant Transgender Commentators. For Obama






~~~

Cynicism2

~~~

The Boys are in these September ballgames, my friend. They are fighting. Even when the Mets put 6 runs up in an early inning tonight, DC came roaring back to tie the game. They answered numerous rallies with rallies of their own. Then, David Wright stepped up and sealed the deal with a sweet homer on a flat fastball riding right in to his wheelhouse. The pitch was as plane and obvious as Kevin Costner at a drag queen beauty contest, and the ballgame was surrendered, 13-10, Mets.

September 10, 2008

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9		R	H	E
Washington	0	1	0	1	3	2	0	3	0		10	11	2
NY Mets	1	0	6	0	0	0	4	2	X		13	13	0

That's how it's been going so far in September. More often than not, DC is playing good solid baseball, then losing these games. Don't blame a lack of heart or bad management. Blame a guy named Steven Strasburg. He's a RHP for San Diego State, he played for Team USA in the Olympics, and some say he's the best pitcher in the country. So what? So this: The team that finishes last gets the first pick in the draft, and they will almost certainly pick Strasburg.

So far, the only team close to sucking as hard as DC is the Padres. A couple weeks ago, DC was feeling their cheerios and winning like crazy while San Diego kept right on losing. It made the race for last place a close call. Now, all of a sudden, these guys in late innings implode as if someone turned on the large hadron collider. If Ben and Jerry made a suck flavored ice cream, it would have a big curly W on the label and feature Failure Fudge and Odalis Peretzels inside.

Saying that DC is losing games on purpose in order to win a player is taking a cynical view indeed, but we're a cynical lot.

As established here moments after the announcement of Sarah Palin was made, we cynics at TNP are pretty sure she was added to the McCain ticket for reasons that go well beyond her Kill Everything Except Embryos and Drill Everywhere Except Into The Details policies. There were plenty of applicants who possessed those credentials. They picked Sarah because she also possesses a coochie.

Admittedly, we were not completely correct in our assessment of their thinking. The McCain people did not, after all, choose a woman for VP in order to woo women to the ticket. They chose her to put John McCain in the running as an indignant victim.

Having a woman on his ticket, the thinking goes, puts McCain in the feminist camp. He can now cry foul whenever someone mentions lipstick, or children, or Alaska State Troopers. "They're attacking one of our sisters," he'll say. "They're sexist!"

Conversely, McCain is hoping that his past actions against specific women and women in general may now be seen in a different light. Sure he once called his wife a cunt in front of a bunch of reporters, but now that his running mate is a female woman, it should be clear to us all that he meant it strictly as an affirmation of goodwill from one sorority gal to another. It's like when that Ludacris calls his fellow hoodlums that name we are neither allowed nor inclined to use. Or when McCain pushes a woman in a wheelchair out of his way. Or when he fools around on his first wife after she was disfigured in a car crash, then leaves her for a richer, younger woman. He can do that. He too is a victim, as you'll see if you look at his girl veep. Solidarity, my bitches!

The only problem is that these guys running McCain's Circus are clumsy with their self-righteous indignation, and pretty much everybody can see what they're doing.

Remember when Manny Acta charged out of the dugout with that fake rage in an attempt to get himself ejected? It's a lot like that. OK, it's a little like that. Nobody bought Manny's Act either, because it's simply not who he is. The umps just grinned and let him wear himself out, knowing full well he'd soon burn off the excess energy and need a nap.

Since the next couple of months will likely be chock full o' charges of racism and sexism, here's a primer on the correct way to handle the placing of a charge of racism. Both the Obama and the McCain pitbulls and pigs might want to pay attention. It can easily be juxtaposed for use with charges of sexism; unless you're a brainless little baby factory bitch-ass.

~~~

I Could Be GREAT, If Only I Had a Grant.

~~~

Go make something.

~~~

Chasing the Girl Vote