Avert Your Eyes

~~~





As crews work to stem the effects of the BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico,
a bird lays helplessly, covered in oil, on the beach.




~~~

Sometimes I Get My Head in a Dilly

~~~

Ro* and Dr. Mark Abel, 1 year later.

We brought her home one year ago. Driving every bit as carefully as the day she was born, Ellen and I made our way from UVA Medical Center with Ro* seatbelted in the backseat. Surrounded by pillows and wearing a hard plastic torso brace, she had eaten almost no solid food in two weeks.

A year has passed. One year of watching her recovery and silently panicking every time she rode her bike or scooter, or played with her friends, or even just slung her school backpack over her shoulder.

When we went back to Kluge, Ro's top priority question was, "Which rides can I go on at Hershey Park during the school trip next month?" Dr. Abel's answer was a quite satisfactory, "All of them."

We had so much help and love and support to get us through, and for that I am eternally and humbly grateful. Through this whole ordeal, there were a lot of very, truly, deeply hard times, but not once did things go dark. Not once was there ever really a shark in the water.

~~~

Steven Strasburg is Now Pitching for Money.

~~~

Lots and lots of money.

~~~

Working Together in Harmony

~~~







~~~

When Great Men Fall Silent

~~~

"Vernon Hunter was a guy who fought for his country in Vietnam and went to work for it when he came home; he had a loving family who cared about him very much. And then he went to work one morning and he was murdered in cold blood by a narcissistic loser named Joe Stack."

- Will Bunch




~~~

The iPad is Retarded

~~~

Old people love the new Big Button iPhone.

The long-standing rule that one should never, never, never buy first generation gadgets stands strong today. The new Apple tablet computer is now public, and while it is indeed breaking new ground in personal computers, it is also the dumbest thing we've seen since the Cube was released.

Like the iPhone, the new iPad features a gorgeous glass touch screen. Unless they've made serious upgrades to the screen, it will be even more likely to shatter than it's pocket-sized predecessor. The only thing that will be louder than the hype surrounding iPad will be the howls of despair whenever one of these hothouse flowers is pulled from some unsuspecting douchebag's iPurse only to have a million iShards cascade onto his khakis.

In fact, iPad appears to continue many of the iPhone's unfortunate traditions. It's great for surfing the web! Unless the page you're trying to load has Flash encoded. Send and receive your email! Just don't try to save that attachment to a thumb drive, because there is no USB port. "That's ok. I'll just use whatever clever mechanism those geniuses built-in so that I can add or remove files." No, you won't, because there are no clever mechanisms. Maybe they weren't pretty enough to make the cut. If you're afraid to ask how to replace the battery, it only means reality is starting to overtake hype.

The very first iPads will be wifi-enabled, and the ones coming out a month later will also have 3G. Oh good! Surely this time Apple learned their lesson and made it so the customer could choose from a long list of wireless network providers, right? Umm, about that ... no. By the way, if you're one of the million or so people who will snap-up the non-3G version just so you can declare yourself and Early Adopter, you need to be told that nobody likes you. Not even your dog.

With all that said, the new product from Apple is pretty amazing. It will most likely cause yet another revolution in development. All we're suggesting is that you keep your money in your pocket for now. Remember the original iBook? It was a toilet seat, but it grew up to be a fine little laptop. These things take time.

iPooped

~~~

Stephen Lynch Speaks For Me

~~~


Congressman Stephen Lynch pile drives Tim Geithner through the mat and into the floor.






1) Send more Stephen Lynch.

2) Fire Geithner.

3) Fire Bernanke.

4) Hire Krugmen.

5) Maybe get your gutless, >corrupt< asses re-elected.




~~~

Federal Reserve Act
Section 13. Powers of Federal Reserve Banks


Section 3. Discounts for Individuals, Partnerships, and Corporations - In unusual and exigent circumstances, the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, by the affirmative vote of not less than five members, may authorize any Federal reserve bank, during such periods as the said board may determine, at rates established in accordance with the provisions of section 14, subdivision (d), of this Act, to discount for any individual, partnership, or corporation, notes, drafts, and bills of exchange when such notes, drafts, and bills of exchange are indorsed or otherwise secured to the satisfaction of the Federal Reserve bank: Provided, That before discounting any such note, draft, or bill of exchange for an individual, partnership, or corporation the Federal reserve bank shall obtain evidence that such individual, partnership, or corporation is unable to secure adequate credit accommodations from other banking institutions. All such discounts for individuals, partnerships, or corporations shall be subject to such limitations, restrictions, and regulations as the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System may prescribe.
[12 USC 343. As added by act of July 21, 1932 (47 Stat. 715); and amended by acts of Aug. 23, 1935 (49 Stat. 714) and Dec. 19, 1991 (105 Stat. 2386.]

http://www.federalreserve.gov/aboutthefed/fract.htm